~ Quick Fixes ~

"Don't do that," "No, you can't have....," "I said No." ...... How many millions of times can someone say that a day? I have already said it at least twenty times this morning alone. It finally dawned on me today- why it is that I have to keep repeating myself over and over again. It is the monster that I have created!

 Evi, (2) loves magnets. In particular, any magnet that is being used to hold papers on the fridge. I bought her those little Leap Frog Alphabet magnets for her birthday in hopes that it would deter her from my fancy magnets, but I think it has had the opposite affect. I was making a cup of morning coffee when she began making her demands. At first I told her she couldn't have them. Then a second time..... and after about 5 times of saying No, I found myself saying, "FINE! HERE!" as I began taking all the papers down as she pointed to them and giving her the magnets. After removing the 4th piece of paper from the fridge it struck me like a ton of bricks... She Won!

How often do I do that?! I bet it's a whole lot more than I realize. It seems so much easier just to give up and give them their way sometimes. What have my quick fixes done?! They have created a lack of boundaries and respect. They and they alone are responsible for the ever so annoying persistence that I deal with day in and day out from my kids! Funny that it took some fridge magnets to make me realize just how bad things have gotten!

So often I hear people saying... "You've got to pick and choose your battles." Heck, I've even used that myself. Well, I think that mentality is what has gotten so many of us in trouble. I say.... 'fight your battles until there are very few battles at all.' Everything IS a battle. It's part of the learning process. Kids will push your buttons as long as they know there are buttons to push. If we give in to them, even on occasion, it establishes the thought that if they only ask enough times they will prevail. Then we wonder why in the world our kids won't listen to us!

It really is funny to me when I step back and think about it. How can I be angry at a 2 and 3 year old?! Who has let them behave the way they do?- Furthermore, I would like to add that I was always very strict with my 9 year old and I remember it being so easy going with her. We had and still have very few fights. When I say something there is no discussion, she just does it. I always say..... "She was sooo easy, but these two (Lu and Evi) are so hard!" The difference lies in my parenting methods! Now I'm not saying that each child is not unique, but what I am saying is that they are all alike in one aspect; Stand your ground and they WILL learn!!!

I will challenge myself beginning now to return to my old parenting method and report every so often on any changes I see. This should prove to be interesting, but hopefully it will pay off. They sure are going to hate me for a while. That's just part of it though and just like I tell Havana (9)..... "If you make me choose between being a mom and being your friend- I'm always going to choose being your mom..... So don't try me!" lol..