Havana had an assembly today for having made the A/B Honor Roll. When she brought home her report card a couple of days ago she was less than enthusiastic. She had been very disappointed that she did not make the Straight A Honor Roll. While I did love her drive I was also worried that she felt that way. No matter how many times I tried to tell her that she had done wonderful and I was so proud of her, she would not show any excitement. I also reminded her that there was always time to make the straight A Honor Roll and I was sure she could do it.
It took two full days to convince her that she should be proud of herself and her accomplishment. She finally brushed on a smile and was excited about her ceremony of recognition this morning. She marched in line in front of the bleachers and gave me a big wave and cheesy face as she passed to take her seat. I was sooo proud of her I was beaming! As the assembly began the principal gave a speech about how some students have average ability while others just naturally made straight A's but that those who are average just have to work harder to get straight A's. One by one the Straight A students were called down to the front to receive a medal and a certificate to DQ.
When they had finished and it was time to reward the A/B Honor Roll students she continued her speech. She began by challenging each and every one of them to "raise the bar" to become Straight A students. She then went on to tell them that their school was "raising the bar," as well as the state and the country. She went into detail about how there was a competition between the states and countries and how our school had not done very well last year. Then she again began to tell them that they should strive to get all A's. She went on and on about how much more they needed to push themsleves. One by one she called their name and had them stand up at their seat on the bleachers and after they had all finished standing everyone clapped.
As I listened to the Principal's words I kept waiting to hear, "You should all be very proud of yourself," or "I am proud of you." Anything along those lines. It never came. There was no uplifting from her words to these students. I was appalled! My mouth hung open and I left as she began to read the list of the "average A/B Honor Roll 5th graders."
On the way home I drove in silence with my thoughts. I could not believe what had just happened. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to cry for my little girl; for all the children who had been humiliated and degraded in front of their classmates..... And for what?... For having excelled?! That was no way to encourage children to keep up the good work or to strive for something better. Where was their pat on the back? Where was their certificate so that they could be proud? At least mom could put it on the fridge or hang it up in their room. No, for their reward... they received a lecture about how much better they should be. About how they had not been good enough. My heart broke.
What was the school's motivation for doing this? Encouragement? Who would it encourage? More likely it will break down the self esteem of these wonderful students and make them feel that if they can't make straight A's then what is the point in trying at all? I know that is the way that I would have felt. What would it say to the students that were actually doing "average" work or those even below them? That they should not work to make A's and B's because there would be no reward for it? Instead you receive public humiliation as your gift?!
Coming from Florida I had worried that Havana would have a hard time transitioning. Much to my surprise and delight it had a wonderful affect on her. Havana always struggled with school. She nearly failed 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Not because she is not smart but because she lacked ambition toward school. No matter how much I had punished her or tried to teach her the value of education it had not mattered. She had viewed this new school as a second chance... a clean slate. She has worked so hard and I have never seen her so determined in my life. Now her fears of being inadequate on the A/B Honor Roll have been confirmed by the highest level of her school. How can I possibly undo the wrong that has been done here?!
I am now found wondering what course of action I need to take to have my voice heard on this matter. What is the best way to make a difference? I am only one mother but I feel that the matter needs to be addressed on behalf of those children and for all the parents that could not be there this morning. What has our school system become? Why would we burden our children with the problems of state funding? Why would we tell our children that their best is not good enough? These are really sad times for our kids.
When you are in 4th and 5th grade you do not strive to do well in school because you care about gaining knowledge; you do it because you want to make your parents and teachers proud of you and for a sense of self accomplishment. What happens if you don't get the recognition and appreciation you very rightfully earned? I dread the answer to that.
I would personally like to say..... "Job well done. I am so very proud of you!" to all the students of the A/B Honor Roll from Mercer County Intermediate School. "You have accomplished something truly wonderful through your efforts. Keep up the good work!"
Your thoughts and comments on this subject will be most appreciated. If you do not have one of the accounts listed please choose "Anonymous" and then just type your name on your post. Thanks for the feedback.
6 comments:
This makes me furious....and very sad! Ricky and I think you should take Havanah's name out and send it to the editor of the paper. Might write the principal and copy it to the board too. Hug that Baby for me until I can get over there to do it myself and tell her how proud of her I am. Love her!--Kim Royalty
I DEFINITELY agree that you should write a letter to the editor. I am absolutely furious after reading your blog. I can't imagine how that made those kids feel. Oh, wait a minute, I can. I can remember my first day of middle school, I was stood up in front of the class and humiliated by a mean ole bitc# for nothing. It was as though she was on some kind of power trip and abused her authority. Sometimes I feel like these "educators" should be put in their place. They are there to educate as well as nurture these children, not insult or degrade them. Tell Delaney, that Brian and I are very proud of her.
Amber
I really appreciate the fact that folks are very passionate about our children in the school system. I agree. I (we) are to be very proud of our students' accomplishments -- and I most certainly am... My intent at the honor roll recognition was to only communicate the importance of 'raising the bar.' If we have every student doing his/her very, very best, then for that I am extremely proud! Thank you very much for making me aware that perhaps my speech didn't come off as I had intended.
Mrs. Cobb
Amber I'm sorry that this happened, to not only to your daughter but all the other "average" students in her grade & above. My kids go to Mercer as well & I don't think enough parents speak up on issues such as these so I'm proud of you for bringing them to light in a manner that has impacted several people in the community as well as school system. I can see rewarding straight "A" students with something, but to NOT reward A/B honor roll students with something also (not to mention a little encouragement!) I think is just wrong. Why would they continue to strive with no incentive other than to be made to feel inadequate publicly? I think some educators & many who are higher up in the school system, focus much more on the school as a whole than each individual student counting as a person. I don't think all the teachers think this way-if I did I would have pulled my kids out of the school so long ago, but it's evident that some do, as was made apparent by this speech. It's really sad if you ask me. A shame. I hope this get the attention it deserves. And I hope to see A/B HONOR roll students get the attention & praise they deserve the next time too!
/Thank you everyone for your responses. I also appreciate your response Mrs. Cobb, but I feel that it only validates my concern. The problem was that the speech was completely focused on 'raising the bar' and pushing the children to do better. I do not feel that it was even an appropriate topic to bring up to the children and especially not at a time when the children should have been honored. The NCLB initiative and other state issues should not be a concern to the children at all, (this is an issue that needs to be addressed with the staff,) but especially not during a time of recognition.
I am also very happy to hear that you are very proud of the chilren, but it most certainly would have been nice if the children could have heard this.
While I do agree with your comments that the children should be recognized for A/B honor roll, it makes me sad that so many people want to blame this on the teachers. I am a teacher myself. I spend all day with other people's children, taking care of them when they are sick, talking to them when they need an ear to listen, answering questions when they need answers, pushing them to do their best so I can see that sense of pride and accomplishment. It's not a rewarding job other than the pleasure it gives us to see them succeed. We don't get paid well, we work hours AFTER hours during the week and on weekends, do extra duties for no pay, and yet, here we are defending ourselves. We don't get to attend our children's reward assemblies unless they happen to go to our school. Yet, we still teach- for the love of what we do.
Amber- I do not direct this to you. Again, I understand your hurt. The best way to be heard is to talk directly to the administrator. Putting a letter in the editor does nothing to better the situation, instead only creating a more hostile or negative one. In the end, it only brings the school down- I don't believe this is your intention. Instead, you want it to improve.
Yes, there are bad teachers. But that's not the majority of us. It's not the majority here in Mercer County. It's not the majority here in Kentucky- no matter what people need to say to convince themselves. It's a hard job, if dare I say one of the hardest. The majority of people that enter this field leave it within the first five years.
I guarantee that this is something that is already being worked on if parents are upset and voice their opinions in the right way to the right people. Regardless of what people may think, there is no perfect school or perfect school system. The only way that improvements can be made in a positive way is if parents get involved- go to PTO meetings, site base meetings, talk directly to teachers and administrators, etc. I can promise you that these are the ways to be heard in an effective light- not a letter to the editor.
Tell Havana that she should be proud... she's a great student and a great girl!
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